And self-giving is at its highest when it is creative. Without a roof over our heads, for example, our need for security is threatened. The successful development of the married community depends on the harmony achieved between two persons who stand in the relation not of friends or associates, but of spouses - where sexual diversity is fundamental to the constitution of their relationship. The Gethsemane prayer is probably the most difficult one to genuinely lay before God. Once physiological needs are met, the next level of need—safety—immediately rises to consciousness and begins to drive behavior. Two people can only remain united in marital love if their continuing efforts are aimed at building a true conjugal union which has gradually acquired the strength and unifying power that marriage in its natural design should have. You may find it hard to squeeze an extended lovemaking session into an already packed day.
Love: addiction or road to self-realization, a second look.
Yet no one can reasonably expect to have this need satisfied unless he or she is ready to love. When Life Shows Up November 3, When conversation breaks down, anger and resentment are likely to build. Because a new relationship may come along months or years after their last sexual relationship, some individuals feel anxious that they have "forgotten how to have sex" or that "the equipment doesn't work anymore. In summary, self-actualizers feel themselves safe and cared for, not anxious, accepted, loved, loving, and alive—certainly living a fulfilling life. The task involves the spouses in living out their original covenant.
When the man fulfils his role as husband and father, and the woman, hers as wife and mother, then married and family life can show that dynamic and healthy complementarity that contributes to the growth and maturing of spouses and children. Yet one should note what might seem peculiar but is logical. Sexual issues brought on solely by stress and fatigue often can be remedied simply by taking a vacation. It is lack of children - or, more concretely, the refusal of children - that can pull spouses apart. The other person is not a substitute for our self-development nor someone who can make up for our developmental deficits. It is a privileged conjugal function, which for this very reason too loses its meaning when it is promiscuous.
Other times, an individual searches out a new partner to meet unfulfilled emotional or intellectual needs. The contraceptive spouse rejects his or her partner's conjugal sexuality precisely in its most complementary and truly unitive aspect - its power to create and perpetuate through mutual love. Myths, on the other hand, can stop desire dead in its tracks. But if one has taken one's commitment in earnest, it is a question of beginning again. Suffering, perhaps a lot of it, is indeed likely to result from any intense interpersonal commitment which breaks down. The humanizing role of sexuality Even if accompanied by love, it involves too much inner contradiction to be an expression of conjugal union.